New blog

Created a new blog.

HaveAHeart-StopTheHate.blogspot.com

Been talking about having a campaign about it and now I'm finally starting it.  It will definitely be slow at first, but I am hoping that it will touch lives!

Haiku's

Butterflies flutter
Beautiful wings shine bright
Rest upon my thumb


Arctic wolves run free
Majestic coat of pure white
Ice blue eyes of life


Luminous glory
Shining light in the night sky
Secrets hide sight


Butterflies flutter,
Experiencing a new life.
Unforgettable!

Completely alone.
Luminous moon above me,
Please bring me back home.

The little ones run,
When wild fires start attacking,
defenseless forests.

Prayer of My Heart

In this very moment
This small moment in time
I hold a tiny prayer
A secret prayer
A prayer so dear
A prayer of my fragile heart

Pain is a constant pressure
Lust is a constant fear
Compassion, constant desire
For tears are always here

In this very moment
This painful moment in time
I long to have you with me
I need to know you're there
I pray for loving hands
This, my simple prayer

Confusion swirls around
Pushing me to the ground
Holding me in depression
Filing my mind with such congestion

In this very moment
This very moment in time
I ask for your arms of comfort
I ask to know you care
I want to know you're there
This is a prayer of my heart
I pray to you, My Lord

High School Now, College Soon

Today, Josten's came to school to take order for cap and gowns, rings, tassels, and everything else you can get for graduating high school.  It is a pretty scary thought for me, to think that I am graduating and soon moving away to go to college.  It's a big step in my life and there will be a lot of choices made that will make or break my future.  I hope that I will be strong enough to make the right ones and keep my life on the right track.

 I have decided to go to Weber up in Ogden to pursue my dream of becoming a criminal profiler for the FBI.  Pretty exciting dreams I have haha.

Weber has the best criminal justice program and that is the reason I have decided to move up there and go to school, instead of going to UVU or BYU down by where I am currently living in Lehi.  The move is going to be a little difficult, seeing as I will be moving out on my own, but I think that I can handle it.  I have learned many things over the years and I feel that I am ready to go out and stand on my own (with the little bit of help from my parents, of course!)

From a little baby I have been taught wrong from right and what I should be like in life.  Now I am a 17 (almost 18) year old , young lady.  Thanks to my parents, I feel that I will be able to handle life when it finally comes all flying at me at once.  When I leave home.

Another Droplet

Another boy, another love

It's in all the things he does

Another day, another flower

I really like those hot showers

Another night, another bed

With him, I just feel dead

Another face, another smile

I thought I could stay here a while

Another thought, another doubt

It's him I need to forget about

Another text, another call

I failed to stop my fall

Another break, another upset

He's the one I can't forget

Another droplet falls near

This is just another time I don't belong here.

Stop the Hate

Well recently, as of 5 minutes ago, I have been watching videos on youtube about how Selena Gomez feels about all the hate videos, comments, and everything else that has been said that is negative about her.  This has happened to plenty of other people too.  Bieber, Miley Cyrus, Demi Lavato, and any other famous person you can think of.  All those are famous yes, but I am sure that if you ask one random person, anyone, they can tell you that they have hate comments about them.

Hating on people has become a natural act in this world today and I want to stand up and say that I am going to STOP THE HATE.

I want to challenge everyone and anyone to help me STOP THE HATE.  No rude comments, videos, or anything of that sort.  It doesn't do any good at all.  Hating on people only hurts the person and at the same time it is hurting you.  It may be a nice feeling to get off your chest that you hate someone or think they are stupid, but that only makes you look like a total jerk!

Hating on people is also another way to say that you are insecure with yourself, you are jealous, or that you don't like yourself.  To be able to pull someone down when they are just being themselves, is because you don't know who you really are.  Really?!? Is that necessary?

Come on people, STOP THE HATE, because all it does is hurt!

Life

What is there to talk about life?  It is crazy, painful, wonderful, scary, exciting, and every other emotion you can think about.  There is many things that happen in one day and many others in the next.  It's really hard to keep everything in check, I'm still at Lehi for those of you that are confused from my whole West and Lehi post.  I was very, very confused at that point.  I stayed at Lehi because of my brother, I wouldn't be able to leave him for my last year in college.  It just wouldn't be the same without him!  I love my little brother so much! He is seriously my best friend and I wouldn't be who I am today without his constant presence in my life.

Seeing as this is my last year at Lehi and probably in Lehi too, I have decided that I will make the best out of it.  There may be something huge and important here that I miss if I keep myself in the dumps about every little thing.

I am ready to move out though, I have decided that I am going to Weber for college to be in the criminal justice program.  I will be moving in with Mariah and maybe other people.  She is my best friend from West and is amazing.  We have fought before but that has only brought us closer together in the end.  Schooling is going to be expensive, but I'm excited for the days to come!

I found the perfect way to put both West and Lehi on my class ring! Which makes me really happy that I don't have to buy two rings! lol  This is a stressful time too, because of all the money that I will be needing to be able to graduate the way that I want to... I hope that it doesn't cause my parents too much stress, I am wanting to pay for most of it.  Which is one reason that I have been searching for a second job on top of my Shoe Carnival job.  I am top on the list to be hired at Sonic at the moment, he just needs to make sure that he would be able to afford me working there.  I hope everything works out for me!  I need the money to help my parents so much!


Apart from that, I think I may have found a guy that is interested in me.  He finds me at all the activities that we have together.  He is really cute and fun to talk to!  He has been asking me to go to the stake dance this weekend and I am thinking that I just might do that.  Just to see what he does! xD

All Dressed in Red

The dry amazing heat

The scorching summer sun

Beating down on our sun-kissed skin

Our bodies shimer

With the soft touch of sweat

A longing for shade

Or a dip in the pool

All dressed in red

We are easy to spot

For we are your lifeguards

We are proud at heart.

Holding Love

Love...

Who really loves?

Who understands love?

Who ever has a hold of love?

Hate...

Obviously the opposite

of love

But what is love?

Is love the sparkle in your eyes?

The warm smile on your lips?

Is it the pain of missing you?

The fear of losing you?

Love is powerful

Unbreakable

Undeniable and

Simply wonderful

So tell me...

When I am holding you,

Am I holding Love?

Forever

          Let me pray for you

But he was already dying

                    Why?

My body shuddering

                    All I can think of

Is wasted days in anger

          Never will I see his smile again

His palm against my cheek

          I don't have enough time

                    I never had enough time

I want to stay in this moment

          His body against mine

                    Nothing else

I'm not ready

          Not ready for his death

For I finally realize

          I choose him

Over everything

          I choose him

I know he's infected

          I know he has to be put down

I grab for the scythe

          As I swing the blade

His eyes open

Those impossibly green eyes

          Usually searching for me,

                    Now too vivicous

He now falls limp

I love him, but

          He is gone,

                    Forever

I want his hand

          To feel him one last time

His fingers laced through mine

          But he is too far away

I wonder if there ever was

                    A crueler world

Than one that forces us

                    To kill

The people we love most.

Taming a Putty Tat

Taming a putty tat

Is timple!

Timple as can be

All you gotta do is tmile.

Tweety spoke with confidence,

With cats ten time taller,

Ten time intimidating,

And ten times fierce.

Standing, sitting, laying

Obediently behind him.

A putty tat 

Under'tands but little information

They tase bird and mice

Because they are easy targets

To tame your putty tat

You gotta tand your ground!

Tweety looks at the cats,

They shake,

They fear this tiny yellow bird

Causing the crowd to start up

In an uproar.

Tweety-bird has finally learned to tame

The huge and intimidating lion family!

Scrapped and Bloody

I was running

Down the side of my house

           Playing a game

With my brothers

I tripped

Hit the ground

Sliding

My knee scrapped

And bloody

I was screaming

At the top of my lungs

My family

Came running

My parents

           Getting there first

To help me

Getting patched and cleaned up

With the memory

           Still present on my right knee.

Bitter Disappointment

As luck would have it

I lost my heart to

The babe in the woods

My badge of honor

Is like a broken record

His heart was as black as coal

With blood on his hands

He held my bleeding heart

He was big as life

Before lies slipped through the cracks

My bare bones now shiver

At the bitter disappointment

Forever in Her Heart

Lost love is hard to find

Lies and secrets tear apart

Leacing broken spirits behind

Eyes losing luminosity

Hearts cracking down the spine

All hell breaks loose

As the tears start to fall

Lies never last

Lust tends to crash

Her spirit shakes as

His voice echoes

Forever in her heart

Me

Chelsea

Cute, Crazy

Creating, Ispiring, Performing 

I adore Tweety-bird

Me

Breezes Bring

The soft gentle touch of a rose

          Breezes bringing pleasant scents to my nose

The strong but careful touch of your hand

Pounding of my heart have began

Familiar scents now surrounding

          Not too much, but I'm drowning

The sparkle in your eyes

          Reveal there are no lies

Your heart is like a beautiful rose

          With breezes bring pleasant scents to my nose.

Colors of a Rose

Red, yellow, orange, white

Possible colors of a rose

Small blooming, budding flowers

Here for now, but till tomorrow

The last scents of roses

Fill the air

Before the harsh winter

Snow kills and buries all

Red, yellow, orange, white

Amazing colors of a single rose

Silent Tears

Silent tears are seen

          Upon the hard wooden floor

Neglected, broken, and unheeded

          No care lies in this house anymore

What once was beautiful and never forgotten

          Is now left with cracks of abandonment

Left forever with no chance of being remembered

Mysteries of Glitter

The eye catching, soft sparkle

The unknown joy and love

          Stuck in a small bottle of glitter

A million tiny stars hiding

          Waiting for the time that can shine

The time their ways will sparkle

The mysterious ways they glisten

          The glistering light

                    The lustful spark

Wait for the time the bottle opens.

Beautiful Confusion, Beautiful Knowledge

Beautiful confusion

Glides

Floating through hard grace

An unusual byt wonderful tingle

With my desired relaxation

Limp and comfortable

Incredible not terrifying

Delicious thrill-seeker

With my

Beautiful knowledge.

Anonymous Announcer

Silent words

                           in the world tonight,

No one seen in the line of sight.

His voice of choice has now been lost,

With no other person

                               knowing the cost.

The anonymous announcer

                                     is now gone,

The anonymous announcer’s

                                                   long lost song.

The closed stadium floor,

Empty, clean, and waiting for more.

While over our obligations we often offend,

Leaving nothing

                            but recollections of,

Our forgotten

                        anonymous announcer.

West VS. Lehi -- Pros and Cons

West High
Pros

• Brennan
• Drill Team
• Friends
• Fitting in
• Diversity
• Experiences
• Minority
• Safety Zone
• Knowing who I am
• Popular
• Panther Pride

Cons

• Family
• Justen
• Minority
• Different graduation requirements
• Year behind socially

Lehi High
Pros

• Justen
• Majority
• Family
• Dance Co
• Safe Neighborhood
• New People
• Better dance technique
• Favorite colors are school colors
• New experiences

Cons

• Harassment
• Little to no friends
• No Drill team
• Fighting to know who I am
• Majority
• Alone
• No Lehi Pride

If you couldn't tell already I am debating on what school I should go to for my senior year, I have been thinking about this for a couple weeks.  I don't know what place would be better for me.  I've been struggling all year at Lehi because I don't feel like I belong at the school, but then I go back to West to visit or help out and I feel like I don't belong there either.  I'm so confused, I wish I knew what I should do....

Putting Myself on the Line

Well, today was Drill Team tryouts for Lehi High school.  It's my last chance to be on it before I'm out of high school.  I am so scared at this moment! I'm waiting for the coach to post up the list of names of girls that made it on the team.  The tryouts were from 12:30-4:00pm and she said the list would be posted up after 6:00pm and WELL.... It's 7:56pm as I type this and I'm starting to freak out!  I did fall while trying out so I don't know how this is going to go.
I really hope to be able to make it on this team, it's what I've been waiting for since I moved to Lehi.  Being on the Drill Team pushes me so much harder and is almost a necessary to me.  It's so hard to not be on a dance team, especially the Drill Team.
I am a little sad that there is no chance of being an Officer on this Drill Team, where I would have been the captain at West if I were still going there.  Really hard to not cry because of that fact, but I am pushing through it.  As long as I am able to be on the team and dance till I drop, I will be okay.  Drill is a huge part of my life since I started.

Either way I"M READY TO ROCK LEHI.... TAKING IT BY STORM



Well it's now 8:23pm and I just found I didn't make the team.... Here comes a broken heart... :'(

Mother Daughter Date

Now I know it's April Fools day, but I didn't do anything special other than I had a date with my mother.  I know that sounds weird, the thought of a mother daughter date may take you back at first.  But it was nice, we went and got ice cream then went to a party and just sat and talked.

For a while, since we moved, I had the feeling that we were slowly separating from each other.  We were always the best of friends, to a point that almost every girl wished she had the same relationship with her mother. My mother and I were fighting more and a lot of crazy things were happening at home, to a point that I was scared to talk to her.  I didn't know if I said one thing that I would get in trouble or not.

On the mother daughter date we talked about a lot things and I feel that we are a lot closer now.  I feel so much better and I'm glad that we were able to get away from the world for a moment and just sit and talk about random things.  One bib subject was me getting a bikini, now I already have two, but I want to be able to wear them without the chance of getting in trouble. I am 17 so only one more year before they can't tell me no, but I would like their approval still.  

I'm hoping everything works out still xD Looking forward to the future days!

Never Again For You

Feels like I have always known you,
For dreams have the tendency to feel like a reality

Your stylish ways are all too eye-catching
The warmth of your arms always giving tantalizing comfort
I thought you excellent in every way possible
The look in your eyes emulating a veracious attribute
Your attitude, your talent, your presence being entertaining in many a way
Nimbleness in your heart shows as the music takes control of your body
Just as I

Finally the feeling of belonging
For once my reality is better than my dreams
you were different from what I was used to
You left me speechless, breathless with just a mere thought of you
Fell head over heels
Only to be heartbroken
Once again...
For you weren't the person I thought you were

Thought it would be easy for me to resist
I thought I was stronger than this

Your figure was only a sanctimonious creature
The comforting feeling was now a tenacious pain
Everything that seemed so good was instead egregious lie
Your touch, your voice, and your look was really venomous and deadly
Just being around you or the thought is too eerie to comprehend
Nonchalant is your true being

I can see it now
For your name brings a disgust to my heart
You weren't who I thought you were

Now you and I will never stand
Your name is a venomous eerie word

All I can say now is...
Never again for you!

Life Plus the Boys

     Life is difficult already as it is, but when you add the opposite gender into the mix... Well that's is a heck of a more complicated than it really needs to be.  And yet ,you, males can't get rid of, us, females, and, us, females cant get rid of, you, males.
     Anyway, there was a lot of stuff that went down with my boys today. 'My' boys as in my friends and my boyfriend. <3 <(^_^)> <3 Anyhow! I shall tell the background information first, so that it is more understandable in both point of views.


NAMES ARE DIFFERENT THAN THEY ARE IN REAL LIFE, Just to protect the image of my boys, I don't want their names to be flaunted all over the internet without them being okay with it.


     Dylan and I are the same age, we dance together and when we graduated from the dance class we took, we became teacher aides because of our passion to dance.  We hit it off the year after we graduated, flirting, and going on one date together.  I didn't feel a connection on the date so I kind of pushed those feelings away for the moment being, but that didn't go well with the next time I saw him. Because I fell for him again, he acted a little different when we were on the date than how he normally acts when there are other people around that he knows, but little did I know that he had gotten a girlfriend over the small amount of time the dance class wasn't up and running.
     With his new girlfriend into play, I pushed my feelings completely away, I would only allow myself to be friends with him.  Nothing more, to protect myself from getting hurt.


     Issac, his younger brother had a thing for me since he saw me dancing my last year in the class.  How I knew this, was because of his best friend Zach would tell me.  Zach having a small crush on me at that time too. I never thought Issac was a possibility because of that fact. I thought of him as a stalker, haha, so I never really talked to him and he never tried to talk to me.
      It wasn't till this year that Issac I started talking to each other. His personality caught my attention and then he would dance big and crazy to catch my attention more. We talked more and more and when the performance time rolled around, I had a crush on him.  I wouldn't admit it, cause I was scared to like a younger guy.  Issac would flirt like none other, but I thought nothing of it, I thought he was doing it for fun.  It wasn't till one of the other students told me that he over heard Issac talking about wanting to ask me out.  That made me curious and so I asked around to see if it was true.
     It wasn't till I found his other best friend Derek that I found out, Issac had pussied out on asking me out for about three times.  It was Derek that convinced me to get the guts to ask him out.  To help Issac from the nerves of doing it himself. It wasn't till after the last performance that I asked him out, he was surprised and excited at the same time.


Everything was great... until today...
Dylan had finally found out, which is weird cause we weren't hiding it from anyone. Dylan texted me in the morning and was pretty much yelling at me... The conversation goes as followed:


Dylan: I'm disappointed in you right now so I tell you something and I say not to do something but yet apparently it don't matter what I say because all that matters is what you want so guess what I'm not helping you at all anymore because all I say goes in one ear and out the other
Me: Dylan that's not true... I'm sorry that I didn't listen, but I had my reasons... You're one of my best friends, so I did take your words into consideration.
Dylan: Why?
Me: Cause he makes me happy, why should I let someone I like and makes me happy go?
Dylan: Well I never said go, I said wait! Damn it!
Me: You said not to be with him cause of all the things he has done, and he can't date till after his mission. Well, honestly I'm not going to wait that long! He is not the only guy I can trust, thanks for being a friend and being happy for me..... Means a lot to me </3
Dylan: Well, I'm sorry, but I've been hurt too and I deal with it.
Me: What does it matter to you if I'm with Issac? It's not like you were going to do anything!!! At least have love for your brother and be happy that he is finally happy!!!
Dylan: Issac is a dumbass and doesn't know how to keep himself happy. I tried to keep you and him out of trouble, but not I don't care. Good job, now all I can do is die because that's all I'm good for.
Me: He is not!
Dylan: Whatever I don't care anymore because you never cared what I thought anyway.
Me: Dylan..... I do care! I wouldn't be fighting this if I didn't care. What seems to be is you don't care whatsoever for your brother or a friends. I'm not sorry for being with him, but I am sorry that your dumbass selfish personality can't handle it.
Dylan: You know what I can but I told you to wait for his safety but apparently you don't care for his safety.
Me: Dylan.... what does having a girlfriend do to ruin his safety?
Dylan: Because he is underage and that means if he dates then his life will be messed up in the future.
Me: He is 15!!! I started dating when I was 13 and I turned out okay! Plus he is turning 16 this year!
Dylan: You know what, if you don't do something about it, I will. And it won't be pretty and you'll hate me the rest of your life.




Long Story Short!
I liked a guy and we hit it off for a year, then he got a girlfriend so I pushed those feelings away for him.
His younger brother always liked me, but I never really saw him as someone I would like till this year when he started to talk to me more and his older brother was out of the picture.
Me and the younger brother are right now a couple and the older brother started yelling at me this morning. Because I didn't listen to him about his younger brother and what not. But I honestly think that it's because his girlfriend broke up with him and now he is jealous of his little brother

What is Fear

What is fear?

Is fear the tear that falls?

Is fear tall?

Fat? Short? or Small?

What casuses fear?

Is it of the unknown?

The coulds? The mights? The should haves?

What is fear?

You can't touch it

Smell it or hear it

It must be in our heads

Nothing but a mere thought

Yet fear controls so much!